How to Stay Married For 37 Years – The Old-Fashioned Way – Tips For Newly Weds and Oldie Weds

THE SPARK!

All rightttyyy then, you have found Mr. or Ms Right- Love of your Life. You think about them every waking moment, pick up their call on the first ring, can’t wait until your next physical encounter (I mean lunch, dinner or a movie); gotta be everywhere they are; your heart just flip flops at the sound of their name. You are sprung and you feel that you cannot live without this person. OK, so you decide to seal this in the bonds of Holy Matrimony…… Believe me I do understand, been there, done that!

REALITY

OK, the wedding is over, all of the bridesmaids have gone back to Chicago, or Atlanta or Birmingham or where ever they came from. All the relatives, friends and co-workers have picked up their casserole dishes from the Bridal Shower and you are back from the Honeymoon ~~~ Now What?? You will soon learn that a big beautiful, expensive wedding does not equal a great marriage.

For the sake of this discussion, I will assume that you had ample time to get to know each other before the big day. However, let me say this – living with someone (as in marriage) is a lot different from having lunch or dinner with someone (as in dating).

During dating you generally have plenty of time to look your best and dress your best and always present well. But as some of you may already know, in marriage it does not always work that way. There are a lot of reasons why you may not be able to look your best (you may be ill, you may be stressed from a day at work, you may have been dealing with the kids all day) or what about just waking up in the morning ~ listen, believe me, people only look good in the morning on TV and in the movies.

Getting to Know Each Other Really

OK, let’s see, some things that are starting to ‘get on your nerves’ (spending too much time watching TV ( especially sports, or playing video games, or bringing work home or spending too much money shopping, leaving stuff laying around, changing the channel on the car radio while you are driving, etc.- oh, the list goes on….)

Now, watch this, I can guarantee you that most of the things that get on ‘your nerves’ now, are things that attracted you in the first place. Just think about it; whatever your ‘nerve’ issue is, I invite you to rewind the tape and see how you were condoning that behavior in the beginning of your relationship. Do you remember how you used to sit and watch TV together or how you used to ‘not’ complain if his ‘game is on’, or favorite show was on. Remember when you bought him that video game for Christmas or his Birthday? Remember how you used to pick up behind him and just chalked it up to “guys are messy like that”? See what I mean?

But You Fell In Love ~ Really

So, here’s the thing – you really fell in love with this person and you can look beyond behaviors and all of the things that really don’t matter anyway, because beyond these things is the person you love. And really, your greatest desire is to please that person, make them happy and make them understand that they are needed and appreciated.

You Will Have Ups and Downs

Ups and Downs are a part of life. As you grow together, many things will influence your relationship such as children, jobs/careers, finances, relationships with family, friends and co-workers, JUST STUFF!! But through it all when you discover that you love this person no matter what, then you will understand what true love is all about. And if you have difficulties in your relationship you will always have a point of reference and that point of reference is the love that you truly have for this person.

Falling in Love All Over Again~Tips for Maintaining and/or Regaining that Spark!!

All of the following examples mentioned here are things that my husband and I implemented and maintained throughout our 37 years of marriage. I realize that everything may not be for your but that’s OK; get ideas from the ones you can and then implement and maintain your own…..

•Candlelight Dinner at Home~ This is truly my #1 favorite. Your dinner can be whatever you want; but we loved grilled steak with onions, mushrooms and green peppers, chilled Chardonnay, old school music in the background and candles burning all around.

Note: If you have young children at home your first step will be to arrange babysitting for them. If you have teenagers in this house, you may want to choose a night that they are staying over with friends or out to a movie (maybe you can create a ‘night-out’ for them).

•Leave a Love Note ~ I did this all the time. If you haven’t thought of this before or if you have not done it in a long time~ this can be one of the most romantic things that you can do for your spouse. I would leave notes under the pillow, stick a note inside of his lunch bag, stick a note right on top of his sock or underwear drawer; stick a note inside of a book that he was reading, stick a note in his favorite section of the Sunday paper (that would be the Sports section). I will tell you this is a great thing to do ~ so let your imagination run wild and stick notes wherever works best for you and your relationship.

•Dinner at Your Favorite Restaurant~ Instead of a dinner at home, go out to your favorite restaurant. This is really great if you do not get out too often. The two of you can enjoy good food and good conversation (and no dishes). However, this also requires making arrangements for the kids.

•Go to a Hotel or Bed and Breakfast (In town or Out-of-town). This was probably my #2 most favorite thing to do. When we were in Europe there were so many little cottages everywhere where you could spend a night and have a continental breakfast in the morning; these were fantastic and so very cozy. These days you can find wonderful cottages almost anywhere in this country (most states have them) where you can spend some great quality time together. On the other end of the spectrum hotels like the Embassy Suites, the Marriott, Ramada and Holiday Inns and Suites with all their amenities make for a fantastic weekend together.

•Guys- Take Care of the Kids and/or Do a/or some Chores and Give your Spouse a Night Off~You should be sharing these responsibilities anyway. But if you feel that doing chores and taking care of the kids is not in your job description – Think Again…On the surface, this might not sound so romantic, but let me tell you it means more than you know. Sometimes just doing a few dishes could make all the difference in the world. Romance and intimacy happen when the two of you are together, alone. If you show your spouse that you understand that she is stressed out and exhausted from dealing with the house and the kids and that she really needs a break, this will indicate to her that how much you really care and how deeply you are connected to her.

•Making Out in the Moonlight ~ Do you and your spouse spend time just ‘making-out’ anymore? I am not talking about a couple of long kisses that lead right into sex. I am talking about just spending time in each other’s arms just kissing and holding each other-often without words- and just remembering why you love each other and remembering the times that you have shared together. When we were in Germany we lived on the 3rd floor and we had a balcony and many nights we would spend the whole night together in our lounge chair just talking and looking at the stars and the moon and really expressing our love for each other.

•Guys~The Age-Old Classic: Flowers and Chocolates ~ Well, you say “who does that anymore”? Bringing flowers and chocolates is such a classic (old-fashioned) move that you don’t see much of these days, except for maybe Valentine’s Day or Mother’s Day. However, it still works outside of these special days. Flowers and/or Chocolates show that you are thinking about your spouse and that in itself is romantic, and can open up an opportunity for a new kind of intimacy in your relationship.

Commitment is the Key. It will take careful thought and planning and a commitment from both of you to create a marriage that will sustain the test of time. You must work together everyday to build and maintain a strong, healthy, enduring relationship. I know, we did it for 37 years…

SEO Tips – Do It the Old Fashioned Way, Write!

One of the most frequently asked question that some webmasters new to their trade ask is how to make their sites visible. The problem is a very common one and there are numerous answers to that question. However, it is very important to point out to these webmasters that their sites will get the ranking it deserves if the proper methods are actually applied, and one of the most commonly overlooked answers to this dilemma is actually a very simple SEO technique – writing!

All right, what is the writing about? Simple, there are press releases to be written to announce the presence of the site and the products. Isn’t this a really elementary solution? Realize that no one will become aware of the presence of a site and the products they sell or promote if no one knows that it exists. So write about it! Issue a press release that is written in an objective point of view. Make it interesting enough to gain the curiosity of the readers. Once the curiosity is tickled, the visitors will come in.

Another answer to the writing dilemma, make articles that could grab the attention and inform the readers. This is very important to the visitors of sites which sell some products like, example, souvenirs. If the site just simply puts up pictures and the prices under them, what good will that do? If the webmaster makes sure that there are articles written about the souvenirs like planning a party and how to use the souvenirs, or suggestions of themes that would make the visitor think about purchasing the items as souvenirs, then the visitors will become customers. But if there is nothing written to that effect, then what is to tickle the imagination of the visitor? Nothing.

If the site is a blog, then write again! No one likes visiting a blog where there are no articles written in them. Write about life, about the dog next door and his hilarious antics, write about the cat next door that challenged a rat, or write about a movie that is currently being shown. In short, write interesting blogs that will keep the readers coming back for more. Find a niche for what kind of articles work for the blog.

Old Bollywood Movies

If retro styles are in, then it is certainly because we believe that, ‘Old is Gold.’ The sweet and simple melody of songs, meaningful interludes and the charisma of natural expressions in the olden times is a regaling experience. The look of sixties and seventies has a charm of its own. There were all kind of films then namely action, suspense thrillers or the Indian family drama. The essence of old Bollywood movies relates to a hero who is the super hero and essentially a Jack of all trades.

Parallel cinema of art form was associated to social concepts, the prevalence of evils in the society or simple facts of normal living. In the earlier days, women oriented subjects were limited or the films revolved on a single theme. The complexity that is present in today’s Bollywood films like multi-star cast, dual stories, assortment of screen play and specialization in functions was not adhered in the olden times. Film making was a devotion and a process which internalized in the directors mind. Most of the vamps or villains were predictable in their behavior and certain mannerisms were associated with them. There were stories about the kings and queens, patriotic movies and also others which had the pathos of romance. The actors were veterans and had a clear mind to play the role. Improvisation was their key objective. It is also true that story writing and lyrics writing was a true passion. The words were initially formed and the tune was set accordingly which is reverse to today’s trend.

Quality was well maintained about continuity in the films. Flashback scenes were not of a very high detail yet the link was very well continued. The masking concept was very much in use for mingling two different shots at the editing table. Sounds were mostly verbal and the action scenes had less drama than the modern concept. Compositions and musical arrangement were simple and genuine. No treatment was given to alter the vocalists sound. There was a special charm in the look of the sixties. The fashion was original with familiar trends that came with the western influence.

The adaptation of hairstyles was very evident in the black-white era. Make up ideas were minimal and the heroines had their own style concepts. Eastman color films also led to another change breaking the cliched presentation in the black and white films. The actors then were also playback singers and this worked as an advantage to the films popularity. Press conferences and film launches were comparatively a straightforward affair and award ceremonies were laudable for their simplicity. Elegance reigned supreme and this added to the glamor of the filmdom.

Old Fashioned Popcorn Maker – Start Your Own Family Tradition!

When I was a kid growing up in Chicago, some of my best memories are of my mom taking me to get a hot, steaming bag of popcorn from the vendor on the corner downtown.

The vendor had a full-sized old fashioned popcorn maker that filled the air with the delicious scent of hot, buttered popcorn. I couldn’t wait to get my hands on that warm bag!

I was so excited to see that there are now several versions of that old fashioned popcorn maker, available for home use!

Of course, most people don’t have a lot of room to devote to that floor standing popcorn popper of yesteryear, but the good news is that several tabletop models have been designed for home use.

Tabletop Models Use Hot Air or Oil

Amazon, Walmart, The Home Depot and eBay all offer tabletop models that take only a little space on your counter.

You can choose models that pop corn with hot air or with oil, whatever your preference.

Hot air popcorn poppers have become very popular because the hot air means fewer calories and fat, particularly for those who are health conscious. Popcorn makers that use hot oil are prized by popcorn connoisseurs, who state that oil-popped corn tastes the best. Coconut oil, peanut oil and olive oil can all be used to pop corn. Movie theater owners, for example, use coconut oil to pop corn for their patrons.

Prices for the tabletop popcorn makers vary from $30 to as much as $100. Generally this type of old fashioned popcorn maker takes up only about one square foot of counter space, and if you love popcorn, the nostalgic look of this model may encourage you to leave it on the counter as part of your decor.

Floor Standing Models

Also available for the popcorn lover are a number of floor standing popcorn popper models. These models stand as much as five feet tall and require a little more space.

Many people have found them to be just the thing for their game room or home theater. The floor standing models use hot oil to pop corn. Because these type of popcorn machines are modeled after the old fashioned popcorn makers which also used oil, it is pretty rare to find a floor standing model that uses hot air to pop the kernels.

Prices for a floor standing popcorn maker start at about $120.

Stovetop Popcorn Poppers

I’ve been talking about the old fashioned vendor popcorn poppers, but it may be that when you think of “old fashioned popcorn maker,” you think of the stovetop version!

Many of us remember Mom making us a hot, steaming batch of delicious popcorn right on the stove.

This type of popcorn popper is still made today under the brand name Whirley Pop. The popper is a pot with a lid that has a crank on top to turn. Mom would add a teaspoon or two of oil, add the corn kernels, and start cranking! The crank kept the popcorn from sticking to the bottom of the pot, and in just a few minutes, we had a nice big batch of popcorn.

You can find the stovetop popper at Amazon and Ebay, and several other retailers. Prices start at about $25 for this popper.

So if you’re looking for a popcorn popper to bring back those fond memories of yesteryear, you’ll be able to find just what you’re looking for to begin your own family traditions.

Old Fashioned Parenting

What do you think of when you hear the term ‘Old Fashioned Parenting’? It seems to have both negative and positive connotations to it. The negative would be that it is something that is outdated, a has been, something that it is now unachievable. The positive would be that is brings about some kind of feelings of familiarity, something that reminds us of the happy times in our childhood. Well, as with all things, each decade has its fads or trends. So, too with parenting. The way children were dressed, disciplined, schooled, addressed their parents, what toys they played with, what roles or jobs the parents had, have all changed over the decades.

There have been many different types of parenting styles too over the years. These vary from the authoritative parent right through to the permissive parent. These are still evident in today’s modern society. The era would define the trend of parenting and this would vary from the submissive and docile housewife who always looked her best, the so called Stepford wife, through to the hippy parents, the parents that went through woman’s lib and then into modern parenting. It doesn’t seem to matter what era we were raised in we kind of all seemed to turn out OK… didn’t we?

I do feel that moms of the past generations might not have all been working moms (and by that I mean earning a salary from an actual occupation) but rather moms that stayed at home with their children. Their job was to raise their children. They were the real homemakers. They seemed to have a way of serving their children instead of pleasing them. I believe there is a difference. Serving comes from a different heart or attitude than just giving or financial provision.

Dads seemed to have been the breadwinners throughout all the generations. Always working hard and providing financially for his family. Working a full day in the past usually meant a 8 to 4.30 job and they always seemed to have time for a chore or two in the late afternoons. Children seemed to have time to spend with their dads even helping with the chores. Most importantly, they got to see and interact with their dad’s every day. Today’s dad often has the added stresses of very long working hours and travelling away from home and family.

The cost of raising a family in today’s economic circumstances has also changed, often forcing both parents to work just to sustain a living for their family. With the costs of basic needs of a family such as feeding, clothing, schooling, extra murals, etc, all adding up to huge amounts every month, who has much money left to spend on the fun stuff like a family trip to the zoo, the movies or an adventure park? Not to mention those memorable holidays on the to do list. All this can add to the stresses that parents face today.

Can we thus say that our parenting in today’s society is very different to that of the old days? Yes. Each emerging generation is vastly different from the one before. This is partly due to the parenting trend or fashion of that specific era. Some have brought about self disciplined strong leaders, innovators, entrepreneurs and wonderful artists who are free to express themselves. The children of our generation seem to need continuous instant gratification, have too many toys, and are faced with so many technological advances the poor parents can’t even keep up with them all. As a teacher I see more and more children who need remedial teaching to help them cope, occupational therapy, glasses from having formal schooling at too much of a young age. The children have ulcers, suffer from anxiety attacks and are struggling with the pressures of today’s life. Is this due to the parenting trend of this era? I don’t think parents are entirely to blame for these problems our children face and there may be many other contributing factors for these.

So can the feel good old fashioned parenting work in today’s modern lifestyle? Yes. We just need to find ways of connecting with our children and interacting with them. Make it age appropriate. A simple suggestion would be to set a specific time to be available for your children each week. Choose an activity to do together like cooking a meal. Let them help you in whichever way they are able to do, whether it be looking for or collecting all the ingredients for the meal, actually preparing the meal or just chatting together about the day while making the meal. With our working hours being a bit more flexible these days and not on strict office hours, we need to be weary on when to switch off all the gadgets that bleep, tweet or buzz around us, making us available to others and not our children.

I do believe that old fashioned parenting is something familiar we can relate to and often refer to in a positive way, for example, “Well, back in our day… ” or “When we were young we were never allowed to… “; “My mom or dad always used to… ” We often refer to these times with fond memories. I know I never get bored listening to my parent’s stories about their childhood. I can see my own children listen with fascinated faces (even to my own childhood stories!).

I personally believe that when one refers to the term ‘old fashioned parenting’ we are referring to the VALUES we were taught in our own childhood and not to the specific parenting trend of an era. And yes, these can be taught, applied and passed down in today’s lifestyle. The balance between old fashioned parenting and modern day parenting is what should be strived for. Taking the good parenting styles that worked in your own childhood (and that of your spouse) and try to get a happy medium. It takes effort, time, dedication and participation from both parents. It is an investment and one well worth making.